Sin Out Loud

I’m supposed to be watching my words. Thinking about things before I say them.

Today I didn’t (still don’t) feel well.

Perhaps one should wear a sign when they don’t feel well. “I can’t talk to you today. I don’t feel well and might say things that I know I shouldn’t. Please come back and try again tomorrow.”

That would be great for a teacher to walk around wearing a sign like that all day!

I didn’t really say anything THAT bad today. I’m just disappointed that I allowed myself to grumble out loud.

Do you ever feel that you get taken advantage of and get no rewards for it? Do you ever feel like you work your tail off and all you get in return is more work to do?

How about noticing people who don’t do the things you do and still manage to get rewarded?

Yeah. I went there today.

Out loud.

Guess what?

I advertised my sin.

Bitterness. Envy. Jealousy.

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. James 3:13-18

Sigh.

How do I get myself in these messes?

So focused on what I think I’m missing out on that I do miss out on the bigger picture.

But I will tarry in Ephesus until Pentecost. For a great and effective door has opened to me, and there are many adversaries. 1 Corinthians 16:8-9

Paul’s talking here. I want to come see you, but God has changed my plans! A door has been opened, and inside that door are many great challenges and problems! Praise the Lord!

Instead of celebrating the open doors, I’m focusing on the fact I’m not getting a pat on the back. Instead of praising Him for the adversaries, which will likely lead to great opportunities, I’m to busy being angry I have to deal with them while others walk on by problem-free.

Want an invite to my pity party? Seems a little ridiculous now, doesn’t it?

Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. Let all that you do be done with love. 1 Corinthians 16:13-14

Paul gives the Corinthians a reminder. I need that reminder, too, but maybe a little more focused than the Corinthians.

See, I take the first half pretty serious most of the time. I’m a pretty watchful, steadfast, brave (kinda), and strong person. Unfortunately, I can allow that strength to take over and completely overrule the second part of that reminder.

As a matter of fact, sometimes I totally leave out the second half of the reminder.

Let all that you do be done with love. 1 Corinthians 16:14

I haven’t been thinking about others with love lately. I haven’t been speaking out with love lately. I haven’t been making decisions with love lately.

It’s all been pretty self-seeking.

Sometimes taking a hard look at how we deal with things is tough. See, I still want that pat on the back. I still want someone to notice what I’m doing.

But the truth is, my reason for doing the things I’m doing isn’t for the pat on the back or the recognition. I would like those things to follow my effort, but even if they don’t I’m going to keep on doing what I do because it’s the right thing to do.

Now, to adjust my attitude to match my heart.