Reaching Up from the Bottom

When do I feel the closest to God?

When times are tough. When life has pushed me down and kicked me square in the mouth.

When do I cling to Christ?

When life isn’t going my way. When daily existence is a struggle.

When do I spend the most time in prayer and searching the scripture?

When there’s a need that I can’t easily fill with my own knowledge or ability.

When do I praise the Lord AUTHENTICALLY?

Say what?

I’ve been the fill-in worship leader for several months now. It’s not a “job” I enjoy. It’s too much responsibility. Too much pressure. Too many eyes and ears expecting too many things, and not much room for me to be an authentic worshiper myself.

But when do I worship the Lord authentically?

I can answer the other questions above almost instantly without thought. This question brings thought.

Today as I drove home after a long day fighting a severe sinus pressure headache, I was almost in tears. I’m not one of those women who cries frequently. The only crying I typically do is when I read or watch chic flicks. Today I fought tears most of the day.


Partially it was the pain seeking an avenue of release. Partially I think it is stress of the week. Even though my horse is still with us, the fact that I may have to put him down is weighing heavily on my mind. I know it’s probably the right thing to do, but it doesn’t make it an easy decision to make.

Then on the drive home, a whole three blocks,
Praise You in this Storm by Casting Crowns came on the radio.

I don’t know if I have any praise left in me today, Lord. I’m exhausted. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. And unfortunately I still have tons of papers to grade after cooking dinner tonight. I know my storm this week really isn’t a storm, more like a spring shower, but I’m just not sure I’ve got enough energy in me to praise.

God knows my heart. I don’t have any reason to hide my thoughts from Him.

You see, even if there’s thunder in my spring shower, He is with me. Catching the tears that I let fall regardless of the reason the slip down my cheeks.

And I might not feel like praising Him with my arms lifted high, voice singing, while encompassed by a congregation of His people, but I know that I will remember who carried me through this storm and that will definitely cause me to praise Him!

It isn’t when life is great and everything is going my way that I find myself closest to God…it’s when things aren’t so great that I find myself humble enough to fall prostrate at His feet and praise Him for who He is.

Yes, especially today, I WILL praise Him in this storm.


2 responses to this post.

  1. Isn't that the case? I tend to become a lot more spiritual when I need God the most. It is then that I really feel him with me.



  2. You are my first comment in five days. I was starting to think my blog was broken!

    Thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond. Yes, it is when I am weakest that I lean on Him the most. Perhaps that's why my life isn't a walk in the park!


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