Submission as Service Not Sacrifice

Submission as service not sacrifice.

Think about it.

Society hears the word “submissive” and thinks someone is sacrificing something for someone else’s gain. Is that what being submissive really is, though?

Sometimes my husband asks me to do something I really don’t want to do. Typically it’s something that “normal” wives do on their own without having to be asked. You know, a wifely responsibility.

Let’s look at the list.



Prepare meals

Grocery shop




Wife off counters

Um, am I missing anything?

Somehow I missed the “wife” gene that causes women to just naturally do those things. To desire to do those things. To have the ability to “just do them” because they have to get done.

The things on this list don’t get done in our home on a regular basis. We eat out a LOT. Not because I can’t cook, but because I can’t stand cleaning.

I’ve paid a local laundromat to do our laundry many a time. Who has time to wash, drive, fold, hang up, and put away clothes? An iron? What’s that? If it comes out wrinkly, well, that’s how you wear it.

Doing the things on this list feels like discipline to me. Not discipline as in I’ve gotten disciplined in doing them, but discipline as in I’m being punished and have to do them now.

Household chores seem like sacrifice to me.

Even worse than that, I know I can’t do it. I can’t possibly keep up and be a “good” housewife. I’m not wired that way. I’m not “gifted” in womanly skills.

I need to change my stinkin’ thinking’.

Yes, I’m calling myself out. Don’t think I’ve been writing these posts on submissive wives and my own toes have been spared. I’ve told you all along I’m strong-willed and more of a bring-home-the-bacon leader type.

However, God’s been talking to me. Telling me I’ve got some priorities out of line. That I can’t see the growth and forward movement I dream about until I am faithful in little.

His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’

Matthew 25:21

I haven’t been faithful in my service over the “few” things, so how can I expect Him to enlarge my territory?

If you’ll remember I discussed the Proverbs 31 wife in Sometimes a Woman Wears the Pants earlier this week. She is an incredibly strong, self-efficient woman. She also is submissive to her husband.

Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, And willingly works with her hands. Shi is like the merchant ships, She brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household, And a portion for her maidservants. She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good, And her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hand holds the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, For all her household is clothed with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. She makes garments and sells them, And supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: “Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates. Proverbs 31:10-31

Based on what we read there, I’m fairly certain her husband is never embarrassed to invite someone over. I’m fairly certain that when she extend her hand to the poor and reaches out her hand to the needy sometimes that includes inviting them in to eat at her table or sleep in her home.

Without weeks of prior notice, I’d never be willing to do that. I’ll bring you a hot meal to your home. I’ll donate some money. I won’t invite you to my cluttered, dusty home.

I’m thinking about trying something and considering it service instead of sacrifice. Perhaps I’ll serve my husband by keeping one small area clean for his birthday month. His choice on the area.

It seems like something super small, and it is, but more than that and I’d become seriously overwhelmed and quit. Better to submit in one small thing and succeed than to be successful in my sin of rebellion.

Where do you need to view your submission as service rather than sacrifice? Mine is clearly in the home, but it may be in your workplace, church, extended family, community, or a multitude of other places. Anyone want to join me in an accountability group the month of March?

We can view our submission as an act of service together and cheer each other on!


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