Measuring Love with Marbles

Tomorrow is Valentines Day.

Cards, candy, flowers, diamonds, and sex.

Yup. I went there.

Women want the first four items on the list and men want the fifth, right?

Ok, I’ll agree. That’s a very stereotypical statement, and probably not altogether true for everyone.

Several years ago my husband asked me if I heard about a preacher who preached a sermon on seven days of sex.

Now, I’m not going to lie, I thought my husband was trying to pull a fast one on me. You know, get me to listen to a sermon on why married couples should have sexual relations on a daily basis so I would feel obligated to do the same.

I was too curious to pass it up though. After looking into it, I blogged about it

This “sermon” really got me to thinking about how I view intimacy in our marriage. I went back too, all the way back to the beginning.

I remember hearing that if you were to take two jars when you get married and fill one jar with marbles and move a marble to the other jar every time you have sex the first year you are married, there is a chance you can move all the marbles. However, the saying goes that you will not be able to move the marbles back to the original jar throughout the remaining years of your marriage combined.

I rolled my eyes at this concept when I first heard it.

Whatever. I thought. Just because you don’t enjoy intimacy with your husband doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy intimacy with mine.

Barely months into our marriage my husband’s job went to seven days a week twelve hour days and he commuted an hour each way. We didn’t have a marble jar, but if we had those hours would have greatly affected how many marbles we could have moved.

Exactly twelve months after we got married we had our first child. By this point in time we would have lost our marbles and the jar.

Eighteen months after that came baby number two. That hypothetical jar? Um, woulda been repurposed by this point in time.

Not long after that I went back to work full time. Add to two toddlers, two full time jobs, driving the church van, and teaching classes at church.

Yeah, who had time for romance or marbles?

When my husband asked about a sermon focusing on sex in marriage I started questioning things.

What role does sex play in my marriage? Does God care about my sex life? Could seven days of sex make an impact on my marriage? How? Spiritually?

It’s funny the things we think about as “separate” from God, and yet God created everything.

God created man and woman. Our likenesses. Our differences. And our attraction to each other.

From the beginning of time, He intended for us to mate and be monogamous. He made a helpmeet for Adam.

He created the process through which we procreate. I don’t believe it is by accident or coincident that we “enjoy” that process.

To be continued…

photo credit: randomduck”>randomduck
> via photopin”>photopin> cc”>cc>


2 responses to this post.

  1. Great thoughts, Carrie Ann! My story is a bit different than yours, but the same contrast between my desires and my hubby's exist. Yet my love and appreciation for him hasn't lessened. 😉


  2. Thank you for your response, Pam! I appreciate the time and thoughts! Marriage takes time and communication. I don't believe any two successful marriages are identical. I would like to believe there are commonalities though. 🙂


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