Thinking Things to Death


 
Blogher NaBloPoMo January:
Wednesday, January 2, 2013Which daily tasks take up the most of your energy?

I’ve been thinking about this all day.

And that one statement answers the question. Did you catch it? Do you see the “task” that takes up most of my energy each day?

It is the most unproductive task of them all for me.

THINKING.

It’s what I do.

All day long. Every day. About everything. And I rarely actually accomplish anything because I’m too busy thinking about how to accomplish all the things I need to accomplish.

I hide in my head. All day. Every day.

It’s safe (somewhat) there. Even when things, hypothetically, don’t work out the way I want them to, I can simply think of another plan.

I have a plan for everything. For every scenario. For every response. For every possible outcome.

Because I’ve thought about it. A lot. You could say without ceasing.

I’ve been thinking (LOL) and posting quite a bit lately about seeing a past a person’s words into their heart.

We’ve all heard it said that we don’t truly hear when we listen because we’re too busy formulating in our mind what we’re going to say next.

I’m guilty. Absolutely guilty.

I am always thinking. There’s a good chance I’m not really listening. There’s a good chance I’m not really looking. My eyes might appear to be open, but in all reality, I’m lost within my own mind, thinking about what’s next, what happened in the past, what might happen IF.

I can’t hear your heart because my thoughts are drowning it out. I can’t vacuum my floor because I’m too busy coming up with a plan on how to get myself to vacuum the floor routinely without fail. I can’t take the first step of faith in helping that kiddo in need because I’m lost in the planning phase in my head…all the things I’d have to do first to meet the requirements, all the changes I have to make, all the things my family want to do first, all the back-up plans for when things go wrong.

What daily task takes up the most of my time? Well, it most definitely isn’t a task!

It’s a time sucker. It’s a defeater. It’s an encourager of my fear. It’s a self-sabotager. It’s simply my ability, and obsession, with thinking things through.

I can think something to death. Literally.

Have I killed something or someone? Well, maybe not in the literal, literal sense, but yes.

Things that use to bring me joy are now simply tasks on my to-do list. They are things I do because they need to be done. They are things I do to move me up a ladder. They are things I do because they make me look good. There really aren’t things I do just because they make me happy.

Hmmm. This makes me think of reading. I do like to read. I read for “fun”. I’d like to say I need to think about this for a while, but I don’t. I read to escape. I read to go the places I want to go. I read to have the life I’d like to try for a day or two. I read to not be thinking about the things I’m stuck on that day.

So, yes, I even read with an ulterior motive.

Some of you had no idea I spent so much time thinking before this strange post. (It has taken on a life of it’s own.) Some of you are debating arguing with me because you’ve seen positive effects of my critical thinking abilities. And some of you are ready to start preaching.

Let me help.

Luke 5:20-26 When He saw their faith, He said to him,

“Man, your sins are forgiven you.” And the scribes and the Pharisees began to reason, saying, “Who is this who speaks blasphemies? Who can forgive sins but God alone?” But when Jesus perceived their thoughts, He answered and said to them, “Why are you reasoning in your hearts? Which is easier, to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven you,’ or to say, ‘Rise up and walk’? But that you may know that the Son of Man has power on earth to forgive sins”–He said to the man who was paralyzed, “I say to you, arise, take up your bed, and go to your house.” Immediately he rose up before them, took up what he had been lying on, and departed to his own house, glorifying God. And they were all amazed, and they glorified God and were filled with fear, saying, “We have seen strange things today!”


In the midst of the miracle, Jesus Himself took time to address the thinkers in the crowd.
“Why are you reasoning in your heart?” Notice Jesus didn’t ask them why this had them messed up in the head. He didn’t ask them why they were rolling these thoughts around in their head. He asked why they were rolling them around in their hearts.

My conflicted spirit isn’t so much a head matter as it is a heart matter.

Now, don’t draw conclusions there that aren’t there to be drawn. I am a born again believer! I have accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior, I confess my sins, and accept His forgiveness. My heart matter is not the same heart matter as these scribes and Pharisees, but I believe Jesus would speak the same words to me.

So, on this second day of 2013, as I recognize my thoughts to be a huge drain on my energy, my time, and my joy, I am drawn to Philippians for encouragement and inspiration.

Philippians 4:6-8 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy–meditate on these things.


Some links on listening skills that I found useful:

http://strongermarriage.org/htm/married/listening-with-your-heart-as-well-as-your-ears/

http://academy.justjobs.com/polish-your-listening-skills/
 
http://www.creativespirit.net/learners/counseling/docu19.htm

Advertisements

2 responses to this post.

  1. I can relate to “thinking things to death”; I spend too much of my day doing that too. Have you read, “God is Closer Than You Think” by John Ortberg? I am just at the section where he talks about now different people are and how our uniqueness means we will all experience God's presence and learn to relate to him in different ways. It was interesting to me to read about the Contemplative Pathway.

    Reply

  2. I love John Ortberg, but I don't think I have that one. Ill have to look for it on my Kindle after psyday! Thanks!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: