Discerning God’s Will? FAIL!

Have you ever felt something was of God and then had it fail?

I hate it when that happens. I’ve just about reached a point where I won’t claim that I feel anything as God’s leading. It seems that every time I think I feel Him leading me to do, say, or be something it falls through or is an absolute flop.

Let me give you the most recent example.

We need to replace my late van. Chris wanted it replaced immediately. Me, I want to be sure we make the best possible decision. You could say I’ve really been dragging my feet on this decision.

The weekend after my accident Chris took me to see three possible vans. The first was not available to see when we arrive an hour out of our way. Gah! So, we drove an extra thirty minutes out of our way for an awesome lunch. J It’s all about perspective, folks!

Then we drove about a half hour to a dealership. Let’s just say that I don’t trust car dealerships. (I hope I haven’t offended a bunch of readers in that statement, but I do believe in telling the truth.) I’m absolutely certain I can get a better deal than I’m being offered, and if I don’t feel like I’m getting a deal, well, I’m not buying.

The van at the dealership was good. It was more than I was wanting to spend though. So, we drove another forty-five minutes to look at another van at another dealership.

Absolute FAIL. Call other dealership back. How long will you be there? Can we look again? Do paperwork if we can get to a price we were happy with?

We drove back. They came down some. No where near enough, but we went ahead to see about the evil dreaded financing. We haven’t financed a vehicle in YEARS. Since before the kids started school years…

I am absolutely opposed to financing a vehicle. Every fiber in my being rebels against the idea. (Now you all know why I drive such old vehicles with so many miles that look so bad! I’m a pay cash and drive it ‘til it falls apart kinda girl.)

Financing couldn’t happen so late on the Saturday. So, we wait. It happens on Monday, but they won’t budge on the price nor replace the front bumper that has what I consider a major issue. I’m not biting.

My refusal to finance causes some contention in our home. My lack of time to shop for a different potential vehicle adds to the stress. My indifference towards when we replace the vehicle, well, that’s probably a little over the top.

The day before Thanksgiving I have to pick up some prescriptions at the pharmacy. Chris rides with me so we can discuss this vehicle issue further. I ask if he’s checked to see if a local place has anything new and he says they don’t. Silence on our ride.

We pull in to the pharmacy. I jab Chris in the arm as I stare across the street at the very “local place” I had just asked him about.

“Look! Isn’t that the same exact van we were looking at financing? Go get the details while I pick up my prescriptions!”

The pharmacy took forever and I had ants in my pants wanting to know.

When I joined Chris he showed me the numbers. The van was two years newer and over a thousand dollars cheaper.

My eyes began to water. I was already praying a prayer of thanksgiving. Thank you for not giving me peace about the other deal. Thank you for saving us for something better. If this is Your will, let it work.

We were stunned by what had been literally dropped in front of us. The story of how it showed up at that exact moment seemed like a God story too.

I knew this was what God had already worked out for us. I knew it in my soul, and I rejoiced. The drive home from the pharmacy was so much better than the drive there. We could finally relax and enjoy the holiday. We could finally have peace between us.

Except it didn’t work out.

We didn’t get the van. I was so sure that God has His hands all over this and it turns out I was wrong.

This may seem silly to you. It seems a little silly to me, but this has been a recurring pattern the past several years. Every time I feel confident in God’s direction, it turns out I’m wrong.

I can go back to my prayer, now, two week later, and know that in that deal falling through He was protecting us through His will. It isn’t God I’m questioning. It’s my ability to discern God’s will that I’m questioning.

So, I’m asking for help today. What scriptures or sound advice can you offer on clearly discerning God’s will?


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