Lover or Fighter?

So, I’m an avid reader. I can easily, and often do, read a book a day. I am always looking for something to read. Buying books. Making special trips to Wal-Mart (30 minutes away) just to buy a book to read. And then, I joined a couple reader’s clubs. Right now at my feet sits 34 books I haven’t read.

What in the world has happened to me? I’m just not reading.

As I gaze at the stack of reading material in front of me the lyrics pop into my head, “I’d rather fight you for something I don’t really want, Than to take what you give that I need”. And I wonder. Is it really that I only want what I don’t have? I am insatiable when I don’t have books on hand to read, but now that my cup floweth over I don’t want to read.

How many times do we find ourselves in possession of something we “wanted” only to discover that it sits and collects dust while we do other things? How many times do we walk away from a gift of what we need to go fight for something we don’t even want?

I read romance. I love it. I love the seemingly insurmountable issues that keep a Hero and Heroine apart. I love the possibility that love can conquer all and that two people can be together for eternity despite the odds.

I love them because I can escape from my reality into a dream world where everything works out in the end.

And yet I ignore the fact that my life often does resemble a romance. I am loved. Unconditionally. By at least two people.

First and foremost, God loves me. I don’t know why He would “sink Himself to my level”, but He has and He does, and He loves me.

Second, I have a husband who is the “perfect” husband. (No, he isn’t a gingerbread man!) A man who loves me as I am, with all of my faults (and they are many), supports all of my crazy ideas, encourages me when I’m down, and let’s the air out of my balloon when I’m getting too full of myself.

Amazing, isn’t it? I am loved and am living a romance.

So why, tell me, do I fight? Not only do I fight, I fight for things I DON’T WANT! How dumb is that?

I don’t want to fight. I want to be loved.

What about you? Are you fighting for things you don’t want, and saying no to gifts that you need?


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