Fear of Blindness

Well, tomorrow is the day I’ve been waiting for–surgery day. I am in faith believing that after tomorrow I will be free of sinus infections, headaches, and jaw aches. Hopefully I will once again be able to breathe through my nose rather than my mouth. It is embarrassing to walk around with your jaw hanging down all day.

However, it would be a lie to say that I am full of excitement with no amount of fear.

It really bothers me that my sight “could” be affected by this surgery. I’ve had this done before and didn’t worry about that. Why now? Why when I’m older, wiser, more scripturally grounded…why am I so afraid of losing my sight?

I have never considered myself a visual learner. I don’t have to see a “prop” to understand a concept.

I am not a person who puts stock in others looks. I evaluate people by their insides, not the outsides.

Of course I love a sunrise or sunset just as much as the next person, but my true source of awe and happiness is when I know I’ve done something that has affected someone else’s life. It doesn’t take sight to see that.

John 9:1-7 tells us that I have absolutely no reason to fear loss of sight.

And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth. And his disciples asked him saying, Master, who did sin, this man or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents; but that the works of God should be made manifest in him. I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world. When he had thus spoken, he spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and he anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay. And said unto him, Go, wash in the pool of Siloam, (which is by interpretation, Sent) He went his way therefore, and washed, and came seeing.

I worship the One who can heal the blind. I worship the One who heals the spiritual blindness of others by working unexplainable miracles right before their eyes. I serve the One who wants to use me as a vessel to bring healing.

“Fear not,” He whispers to my soul, “Have I ever let you down before?”

I haven’t always understood His ways, but I can attest to each situation working out for my good no matter how bad it seemed at times. I know that regardless of what happens under that surgeon’s hands tomorrow, I can’t lose my spiritual sight and for that I am amazed.


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