Laughter Heals, Music Speaks to My Soul, God is Still Good

Sunday, October 26, 2008
Laughter Heals, Music Speaks to My Soul, God is Still Good

“His mercies are new every morning…”

I used this fragment of scripture just minutes ago in closing with our church choir. To say that I have been struggling with my calling the past few weeks is an understatement. I have found myself repeating that phrase about “His mercies” countless times a day as I’ve struggled to understand how when I am following God’s leading in something I wouldn’t have chosen to do that He can allow other Christian people to say and do the things they have been saying and doing.

If He called me to do it, then He’ll equip me. I believe that. I rely upon that. I don’t always understand what it means.

It would be so easy for me to bow to the pressure to conform, but I can’t. Normally I wouldn’t even consider it, but this time the pressure is coming from Christians that I look up to. I thought about it. I prayed about. I’ve searched Scripture.

Honestly, I don’t think these Christians are wrong in their thoughts, I just think their thoughts and God’s guidance of me aren’t the same this time. That is what I am struggling with.

How can God be telling two members of the same congregation two totally opposite things?

My earthly mind says one of us has to be wrong. My Christian knowledge says one of us must be wrong. And yet the phrase I keep hearing, “I never said it would be easy.”

The easy thing (ok, not so easy for me) would be to quit and walk-away. I can’t do that. That’s not who I am. I am a person of my word. Whether I would have chosen it or not, I believe God has placed where I am for such a time as this.

I keep asking Him, why?!?! I’d like to say He’s not answering, but I clearly hear Him telling me that He placed me here. Then He reminds me of a favorite verse, “For I know the plans I have for you, saith the Lord, plans to give you a hope and a future, not plans to harm you.”

Right now it feels like I have been left in a place of harm “feels” being the key word there. I haven’t been left. He is here, walking beside me, carrying me when necessary, and reminding me that I am here working for His purpose.

I want throw a tantrum like a small child. “I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE!!! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!!!”

And yet I know what He would say. “I haven’t made you do anything. You can choose to walk away from Me at any time.”

Our church choir made me laugh tonight. Something I wasn’t sure I could do in church now. God’s reminder that He loves me. That He sees and knows, better even than I, what I am going through. Where I saw a cloud, He provided a rainbow.

Driving home after church tonight I was reflecting on all that had happened. I was amazed how in a few minutes at the end of a choir rehearsal I didn’t feel so alone anymore. As I was pondering, once again, WHY God has led me to this place, a familiar song came on the radio.

I sang along with the first verse of “Amazing Grace—My Chains Are Gone” and by the chorus tears were streaming down my face. Those of you who read along from church, well, you’ve already figured out that was the theme song of this year’s Easter Cantata. It was no accident that “that” song came on.

Music speaks to my soul.


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